The Green New Deal: Will It Make America Better Again?

By L.K. Samuels

The Green New Deal is a compendium of imaginative concepts. Just think of the thrill of traveling from California to Hawaii, Australia or Europe by bullet train. Since fossil fuels will be a thing of the past after 10 years, only electrically-operated boats and trains will be available to move hundreds of millions of people around the world each year. Of course, most boats will take weeks and weeks to arrive at their destination.  In the case of bullet trains, they will require mountains of stainless steel, plastic and copper wiring to bridge the continents, a wise investment costing tens of trillions of dollars.

The cost for “overhauling our entire transportation system” will not be a problem.  We can simply tax the hell out of taxpayers and companies until they are too poor to complain or operate. And if that is not enough, we can simply print oodles of money and inflate the money supply like prosperous Venezuela. This South American nation already has engaged in a long-running socialist and environmental programs, and people are dying to immigrate there.

But then again, why even travel? According to Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez the world is scheduled to end completely in 2031. Why start anything anew? Of course, the last doomsayers to predict the end of the world in 2000, and 2012 were slightly off on their timetable, but this time the end-of-the-world scenario will come true, almost like all the others.

The Green New Deal has other exciting benefits. According to the Green New Deal FAQ, there will be a government program for “retrofitting all buildings to be energy efficient.” Every industrial and residential building in America will be upgraded to stop greenhouse gases, and replace natural gas and heating oil with greener alternatives. This important re-construction project is vital to America. We need “economic and social justice” to somehow get greener and greener so that after 10 years earth will not resemble a post-apocalyptic Waterworld where dry land barely exists on earth.

And to make sure it all gets done, we need to pay for a fleet of armored vehicles and an army of police officers with automatic rifles to enforce these great “14 transformative industrial and infrastructure projects.” We cannot trust the people to do it themselves.

To be sure, we cannot let almost insurmountable costs stop a slight and possibly momentary uptick in warmer temperatures. Because if we don’t do anything, Al Gore’s condo along San Francisco’s waterfront might get sprayed by ocean waves. This happened to the ancient Greeks 2,300 year ago when worldwide temperatures spiked 5 degrees hotter. They had to endure unimaginable heat when they went on a conquest spree to create one of the largest empires of the ancient world.

The cost for this transformative change is unimportant. What does it matter if the Green New Deal is estimated to cost $93 trillion dollars over the first 10 years, which only works out to about $600,000 for every U.S. household, a rather measly amount.

And even if the costs become too heavy to bear, leaving little pin-money for beer runs after paying high taxes, the Green New Deal will come to the rescue. They will make sure the government provides buckets of free cash to anyone “unable or unwilling to work.” Problem solved! Nobody will ever have to work again. A socialized economy will provide a “strong social safety net” where the US will “ensure everybody benefits from the newly created wealth.” No matter if you are “unwilling to work”, you will get generous benefits, and perhaps a house and a yacht or two. No questions asked. Work will become obsolete. Free cash will rain down from heaven.  Moreover, no one will ever have to pay income taxes again.

Get in line for the gravy train leaving for the land of green. Make America Better, Richer and Greener Again.